So many times Jesus has met me exactly where I am. As common practice, that I would like to make uncommon, I only see his meeting after it happens. I think that it takes me so long to realize this meeting, because I don't think that I live in expectation to be blessed. I think that he wants to bless us.
A while back I think that my idea of a blessing was winning money, or hearing about a home that did not blow over in a tornado. I am so glad that my mind has been changed about this idea of what a blessing holds. Here is a short list- Being a mother. Here is the thing. I did not know that I wanted to be a mother. I did not know that others wanted to be mothers. (I know this is probably sounding bizarre.) And still the Papa God blessed me with motherhood. I wish that he would have just told me "Hey kido, you are going to love this beyond belief." I would have listened....I think.
Another thing that I would like to my blessing list, that is short for the blogs sake, is the building of patience and love for family. I am in avid belief that the Holy Spirit has renewed some family member relationships. It is as if blocks were pulled from my thinking and I was pulled into a fuller appreciation for them. It is awesome. It is so much cooler to not have to go into conversation or visits with guards and premisconceptions. This is not something that I could have been talked into by my own thought process....He just did it.
One more thing. I have know now that, I am not a Christian and I do not desire a relationship with Jesus because of my fear of hell when I die. I desire our relationship, because I do not want not go through life without him. The separation is not something I am prepared to deal with........ever.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
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