So many times Jesus has met me exactly where I am. As common practice, that I would like to make uncommon, I only see his meeting after it happens. I think that it takes me so long to realize this meeting, because I don't think that I live in expectation to be blessed. I think that he wants to bless us.
A while back I think that my idea of a blessing was winning money, or hearing about a home that did not blow over in a tornado. I am so glad that my mind has been changed about this idea of what a blessing holds. Here is a short list- Being a mother. Here is the thing. I did not know that I wanted to be a mother. I did not know that others wanted to be mothers. (I know this is probably sounding bizarre.) And still the Papa God blessed me with motherhood. I wish that he would have just told me "Hey kido, you are going to love this beyond belief." I would have listened....I think.
Another thing that I would like to my blessing list, that is short for the blogs sake, is the building of patience and love for family. I am in avid belief that the Holy Spirit has renewed some family member relationships. It is as if blocks were pulled from my thinking and I was pulled into a fuller appreciation for them. It is awesome. It is so much cooler to not have to go into conversation or visits with guards and premisconceptions. This is not something that I could have been talked into by my own thought process....He just did it.
One more thing. I have know now that, I am not a Christian and I do not desire a relationship with Jesus because of my fear of hell when I die. I desire our relationship, because I do not want not go through life without him. The separation is not something I am prepared to deal with........ever.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
The Lord Whispers-His people are moved
I started this blog for others to see how the calling of the Lord has and will transform our lives. Jeanette and I lived in Muncie over 2 years ago and while there we grew to know the wonderful people and community of MAC. The people we met and loved will always be dear to us. I felt my walk with the Lord was strong because of these people. We were a part of something good and it felt good.
Then we moved to Fort Wayne and I fell asleep-spiritually. It wasnt' like a spiritual nap it was more like a coma. Looking back now it reinforces how fickle I am. That I can flop so quickly. In 2+ years we made it to church less than 10 times and failed miserably at making any new friends and becoming a part of any community. I became numb to the voice of God and had difficulty in feeling the need for prayer. I became caught up in the day to day grind of -go to work, to make the money, to pay the bills, to drive the car, to go to work . . . rinse and repeat.
This is not to say that there was no joy in my life . . .not at all. We were blessed with Anderson who words cannot begin to convey the love I have for him and the love he brings to our family. Jeanette and I still loved each other and enjoyed each other. But I think every person at some point in there life looks at how they spend there time and says "What the *%!!* have I been doing?" This is what happened with me. I only have a certain amount of time on this earth. What am I going to do with it? Am I going to build up a retirement fund so I can kick back when I am older? Am I going to work and work and work and run in the rat wheel for nothing? Am I going to go out of my way and help someone with anything?
I knew about Mark and Ange Guinn planning on going to Ireland. I then read an email by Jodi and Darryl about them going to Nepal and I thought " That would be really cool to have that freedom to go and do something like that." Then I realized that they have that "freedom" because they made choices in there lives to make that happen. Then God with a roll of the eyes and loud exhale said, "Finaly he gets it". If I we want to serve God truly then we can. We just have to commit to it. At this same time, Jeanette had been having the same feelings-getting restless, wanting to be a part of community, wanting to live intentionally for God. We had always said that we were willing to consider missions-what a copout. We needed to make an intentional decision to live for God. So that is what we did. We prayed about it and felt that we were supposed to go to Ireland with Mark and Ange.
We have committed to going and living in community. We have no idea what this looks like or how it will happen, but we are trusting in God's plan. We do not know what is going to happen. We have begun looking into the details and seeing what it is going to take to make this happen.
We are really excited to meet people were they are..... and fall in love with them.
If you feel moved by God please pray for us to have clear direction and please pray for the people of Northern Ireland.
Then we moved to Fort Wayne and I fell asleep-spiritually. It wasnt' like a spiritual nap it was more like a coma. Looking back now it reinforces how fickle I am. That I can flop so quickly. In 2+ years we made it to church less than 10 times and failed miserably at making any new friends and becoming a part of any community. I became numb to the voice of God and had difficulty in feeling the need for prayer. I became caught up in the day to day grind of -go to work, to make the money, to pay the bills, to drive the car, to go to work . . . rinse and repeat.
This is not to say that there was no joy in my life . . .not at all. We were blessed with Anderson who words cannot begin to convey the love I have for him and the love he brings to our family. Jeanette and I still loved each other and enjoyed each other. But I think every person at some point in there life looks at how they spend there time and says "What the *%!!* have I been doing?" This is what happened with me. I only have a certain amount of time on this earth. What am I going to do with it? Am I going to build up a retirement fund so I can kick back when I am older? Am I going to work and work and work and run in the rat wheel for nothing? Am I going to go out of my way and help someone with anything?
I knew about Mark and Ange Guinn planning on going to Ireland. I then read an email by Jodi and Darryl about them going to Nepal and I thought " That would be really cool to have that freedom to go and do something like that." Then I realized that they have that "freedom" because they made choices in there lives to make that happen. Then God with a roll of the eyes and loud exhale said, "Finaly he gets it". If I we want to serve God truly then we can. We just have to commit to it. At this same time, Jeanette had been having the same feelings-getting restless, wanting to be a part of community, wanting to live intentionally for God. We had always said that we were willing to consider missions-what a copout. We needed to make an intentional decision to live for God. So that is what we did. We prayed about it and felt that we were supposed to go to Ireland with Mark and Ange.
We have committed to going and living in community. We have no idea what this looks like or how it will happen, but we are trusting in God's plan. We do not know what is going to happen. We have begun looking into the details and seeing what it is going to take to make this happen.
We are really excited to meet people were they are..... and fall in love with them.
If you feel moved by God please pray for us to have clear direction and please pray for the people of Northern Ireland.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)